To keep yourself from taking an action that kills your dream along the way, you have to keep your emotions in check. Some who couldn’t keep their emotions in check have done something that got them cursed; some have severed relationships they would regret; some have made decisions that set them back. You could end up making the wrong choice if you do not keep your emotions in check.
One way to ensure a healthy emotional condition is to refine your expectations. I’ve learned that you have to be realistic at times. Some of the things we get frustrated at are just reality. Being realistic is not the same as letting go of your dreams because someone else thinks it is impossible. But it may mean postponing a certain aspect of it or changing an approach or plan.
Many times I’ve found myself frustrated at things that are just meant to be. Remember you are not where you need to be and you are working for a change. While you find yourself in that space, some things will surely happen. If you expect them to happen, you can react properly. Why? Because you know it is temporary and you could even find better ways of dealing with it while you keep up. While you hope to get a job so you can support the family, realise that your spouse may sometimes say things you won’t want to hear. Though they may be wrong in the approach, you need to realise they are human and their frustration at your condition has prompted them to react or say those things. You will learn not to think of them as someone who hates you but a human being who has feelings and is frustrated in that condition. Then you can learn to respond properly while you work for the change you want to see.
A lot of people go crazy when a superior suddenly cuts their time in half; when the owner of the house walks in on a project; when they have to attend to a family member. You need to learn that this is just part of the process. This is the current you and you’ll have to be patient and endure, while you work towards your dreams.
It’s difficult to see and know what you should do to achieve your dreams but then you keep postponing and delaying things because of your boss, mother, sister, or husband. There are people you can keep out of your life so you can face your dreams squarely. On the other hand, there are other ones you are stuck with whether you like it or not. Again even when you are stuck with some people (whether permanently or temporarily) there will be times when you’ll need to attend to them. Some of us get frustrated because they delay or set us back. Some do or say unthinkable things. Some of us neglect family in the process. Refine your expectations, baby. I know the wait could kill. But you have to learn to be patient. Refine your expectations. Keep a level head so you don’t make silly decisions.
Sometimes you’ll need to postpone or delay things to be with your family. (It’s always easier than it sounds. I’ve been there and I know how it feels. But that’s just it.)
You may have to postpone what you are doing to attend to your boss. Deep down you know you would do more; you’d be better if you had more time. But the reality is that you are there now and things will most times not happen as you want because someone is bound to call you and ruin a perfect plan.
They don’t quite get it (yet)
For me, one of the things that used to trigger wrong reactions was my frustration at people who knew me at the time. I always expected better treatment – more care and understanding – from them. But I couldn’t get it at the time.
Who are you frustrated at, dreamer? Is it your mom, husband, a friend? Try not to be too disappointed. They just don’t get it. What we see affects how we behave or react. Don’t expect them to meet your mental expectations because, at present, they just don’t get it.
It’s okay to teach them, encourage them, push them. But don’t get frustrated. Don’t frown at your loved ones. They’ll get it when the time is right. It’s hard to believe what you don’t see or understand.
One of these days I learned something. I realised that in a way, I have been expecting people to relate with the future me. While a good part of me is preparing for the future, my present condition is what most people will react to. For me I’m reading books, thinking big, reading patterns, attending seminars, and all that. I am in a way, living in my future. But my loved ones are still seeing a common guy. While I subconsciously want them to react to that “future,” they are naturally reacting to what they see (presently). The compassion, time, respect, affection, resources they gave me was for the person they saw – the present me. But subconsciously, I was expecting them to treat me as the future me. That was the problem with my expectations at the time. It took me a while to figure it out. I lived in that frustration with some of my loved ones for a long time until I got the understanding. Once I got it, it changed the way I saw things.
But then you still have to be careful. Because if you are careless, anyone can kill your dreams – even your loved ones.
Be realistic but don’t be stupid
Realise when people are taking advantage of your commitment. Some of the things people call you up to do are just a waste of time, either because it isn’t necessary or because they are indecisive, or because they just don’t want to do it on their own. Being there for friends is not leaving your projects to attend parties. A real friend will hate you for missing the party but will love you even more for working on your dreams.
You may want to read: Helpful ideas for Highly Empathetic Individuals.
This is important: While you seek to keep your relationships alive you have to learn how to respond to situations and how to get more time. Are there things you can teach someone else to do? Are there tasks you can automate? Learn more about everyone. Be there for people but never allow them to feel you have nothing important to do with your time. These things are easier than they sound but over time, you will learn the best way to do them.
Refine your expectations. Some things will take longer than anticipated. If there is no good way to hasten a process without messing things up or reducing the quality of the final product, then you must learn to be patient and allow them to happen as they should. Do all you can to speed things up but realise when you are about to ruin good things because you are impatient.
Refine your expectations, dreamer. You can’t be in the water and not get wet. Nevertheless, you need to know that there is a big difference between getting wet and drowning.